Are you thinking of filing for
divorce? Perhaps you were suddenly handed divorce paperwork and now you are being
pushed into the end of your marriage? Whether it was your idea or not
to divorce, the road ahead can have serious bumps, twists, and pitfalls.
If you don’t bring a map with you.
At The Badalucco Firm, our Birmingham divorce attorneys want our clients
to be as comfortable as possible when going through a divorce. A big part
of avoiding frustrations, delays, and other legal issues is knowing what
to do during your divorce, and what you should
not do. Take a moment to review our handy “Divorce Survival Guide”
for some useful insight, tips, and hints. If you need legal counsel, we
encourage you to
contact us or schedule your
free consultation today.
Divorce Survival Guide
Support yourself: Divorce can make you feel less than yourself. The moment you realize divorce
is a possibility, talk to trusted friends and family about what is happening.
Even if you don’t want their direct input or involvement, you will
want to know you have support from someone, other than your spouse, who
can keep up your confidence level as the divorce proceeds.
Be courteous: There is a time for attack mode, but putting it on before your confused
children, your ruling judge, or your spouse who will use it against you
is not always the best option. Divorcing is possibly the most difficult
time to remain patient and kind, and while viciousness will get you nowhere,
patience and kindness may. Your behavior is under a microscope during
a pending divorce, and any immature or spiteful behavior could cause a
judge to remove
child custody rights or take away assets when making
Consider compromise: In an ideal divorce, you would get exactly what you wanted, and maybe a
little more. The reality of your divorce is that there will be some give-and-take.
Try to identify what you
need and what you really don’t, and maybe even identify a compromise
in the middle in the interests of seeing the divorce end. Remember: the
longer your divorce drags on, the more money you are going to pay for
using the court to argue it out.
Don’t rush ahead: Most relationship experts agree that jumping straight into a new relationship
after a divorce is a losing situation for everyone. By slowing down and
taking some time to get back on your feet, you can more easily stabilize
yourself in your new life. If you have children, an immediate rebound
can be confusing or upsetting to them. Don’t run away from potential
new relationships, but the general consensus is not to wear yourself out
looking for them.
Don’t clam up: Ending your marriage means ending a friendship, and your first instinct
might be to distance yourself from that person as much as possible. During
and after a divorce, it is important that you still remain in communication
with your ex-spouse. Completely clamming up or outright ignoring them
makes a roadblock that benefits no one. You should only consider instantly
and entirely “burning that bridge” if
domestic violence and other forms of abuse ended your relationship. If that is your own
case, then you should always use an intermediary for any necessary communications.
Don’t forget your children: While it is true that a divorce is between two people, its impact can
affect children the most. Check in routinely with your kids to see how
they are handling the divorce and if they have any questions. You will
want to be honest with them but don’t divulge any details they don’t
need to know, such as if your ex was cheating on you. Showing that you
remember and love them, even in this familial tough spot, will work wonders
for their happiness and confidence.
Once again, if you have any questions regarding the divorce process in
Michigan, you can
contact our Birmingham family law attorney at The Badalucco Firm. We would be
happy to help you and your family through this trying time, as we have
been doing for families for more than a decade.